Pile o'shite

Date:	2007-01-02 19:51
Subject:	Shame
Security:	Public
Mood:	embarrassed

Back to school tomorrow, sigh. 

Never drinking again due to getting completely over-the-top drunk on New Year's Eve (by accident I hasten to add) and then being sick out of the window of Claire's dad's car. I am totally and utterly ashamed of myself and don't think I will ever be able to face her parents again.

And I'm supposed to be an upstanding member of the community... I hang my head in shame.


BUT

I am very excited as 2007 will be my year of good music. For three consecutive weekends in February I am seeing: Babyshambles, then the Killers, then the Fratellis. Then in June or July (can't exactly remember) it is Muse at Wembly Stadium. Wooooo. Though I'm not holding my hopes up for Wembley, as I was supposed to see the Rolling Stones there... but that turned into Twickenham!

Happy New Year, chaps!

Wooooo! Fratellis tickets booked for Feb and Killers for March. Hopefully Muse too, all going well and getting up on time to book them!

Date:	2006-12-05 18:59
Subject:	Ofstedded out!
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired

The Oftsed inspectors have gone... felt like they were there for years. You only get 2/3 days notice for when they come, so we've been told to expect it all term. FINALLY it came. Got told on Wednesday, the whole staff went mental. Yesterday and today were surreal. Such a show was put on, it was ridiculous. I felt like the only one doing what I normally do - teach. Some of the things we had to do were such a farce. Then the head looked so disappointed when he told us the verdict was that we are deemed a good school. Did he really expect that we would be considered an outstanding school?! He must be somewhere else then, because with such arrogant and spoilt children at school, there is no way we are oustanding!! Such a relief it's all over and things can go back to normal... no wait, it won't, Christmas and end of term are only a week and a half away!!

NB. Ofsted gradings for schools are: outstanding, good, satisfactory, unsatisfactory.

Date:	2006-11-13 20:42
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	PUKE

Some child farted so POTENTLY in my classroom, that I was actually gagging for about 10 mins afterwards and every time that hateful memory popped into my mind. I was very nearly sick all over the carpet in front of Les Betes and it smellt like something had died. I am gagging now in memory...

PS Facebook is taking over my life! Everyday there's a new friend request dammit!

Date:	2006-10-05 19:27
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	chipper

Ahoy there.

Well I have survived into my fifth week, and it's not been the easiest five weeks, but I am enjoying it and am happy. So all good. Some of the highlights so far are:

First Friday of term, just about to let the class into the classroom and -BAM- glass everywhere, window smashed, everyone out sharpish. Some chav had decided to kick his football at my window, clever boy.

Last Monday, full on fist fight in my crazy 8s class (affectionately know as Les Betes Humains) whilst my back was turned. One boy excluded for rest of week, whilst other boy quietly rearranges his nose in the corner.

Last Friday, fire drill just before this crazy 8s class. I thought it was to practise the new drill positions, found out that evening that it was set off by a girl from that French group. It appears she'd rather endure a bollocking from the head for deliberately setting off the alarm, than an hour in a classroom with me. :)

The other week, one boy known by the entire school as Angry Boy (I try my best not to anger him, I'm scared of the consequences and the origin of his nickname) called me Mum in front of the whole crazy 8s class. Still makes me chuckle thinking about that. The class obviously dissolved into great fits of laughter.

Inevitably all my stories tend to revolve around Les Betes. They have got to be one of the naughtiest classes in the school, over half are SEN and have ADHD or similiar or are plain mental. Even though they make my life hell, I do kinda like them, in a funny old way.

They're all the stories I can think of. I get on well with my department and we all went out drinking last Friday. Though they ordered red wine as they are proper grown ups, and I felt obliged to join them and look classy too... ALL those bad bad memories of the Linguists' Ball and cheap red wine in the second year of Nottingham came flooding back... but  I managed to drink it. I had stained lips the next day though - it was quite a shock to wake up and look as though I'd been eating coal all night. Hmm.

Anyway I have important grown up teacher stuff to do now, so I shall say my adieus now. Adieu.

Oh and am loving the Fratellis album but all their gigs are sold out dammit. Listen to it, it's fab, even if only for the song about the stoner whose pupils havent been seen for 16 days..!!
And really really like Kasabian's new song...

Well dudes, I'm still alive, and BLIMMIN FINALLY have tinternet at my flat, and am loving (at the moment) the job... even with broken windows, fist fights and all sorts of madness in my classroom. Errm, I'll explain later when I don't have quite so much work to do!
Hasta la toodle x

Date:	2006-09-01 22:16
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	anxious

Am going to use my trusty friends the Bullet Points to update today, as haven't a lot of time before my sister boots me off her computer so she can sleep.

• Rolling Stones concert - fantastic!!! Thanks so much to the aforementioned sister who relented and let me go with her. Despite being second row from the back, had the bestest time ever! The inflatable mouth and moving stage... And the whole time I was a little too concerned over Charlie Watts' health and looking like he needed to be tucked up in bed with a cup of tea. Oh but they didn't play Paint it Black which was slightly disappointing, but they did do an excellent Sympathy, with the whole stadium doing Woo Woos.
• Holiday - time for sub-bullet points:
• Nope, won't work, so will have to be normal bullets:
• Me and my sister has a little road trip down to Swansea and took millions of photos, some of which can be seen on my MSN page
• We met up with Sir Murison, which was cool especially after not seeing each other for 2 years...
• We took a 10 hour overnight ferry to Cork, I didn't sleep so good :(
• I drove us to our parents' house which is 2 hours from Cork
• I slep for most of the afternoon, and slept well this time :)
• We mooched around for a few days, went to the beach, went to the lake up in the mountains where I got sunburnt (it's gotta happen at least once on holiday), went to Dereen Gardens (tropical garden place), went to Kenmare and Castletown ('nearest' towns - half hour drive to both), went to the beach... I pretended also to do some school work but didn't achieve much.
• The time came to leave, so we packed up my little car, said our farewells to mum and dad, and Lyndsey drove use the two hours back to Cork, leaving at 5.30am...
• Ferry back to Swansea, still 10 hours, but this time during daytime, so I spent most of it reading the Three Musketeers - truly excellent book! Never read it before and so glad I spotted it on my sister's bookshelf before leaving. (Also read Frank McCourt's new one, not bad)
• Three hour drive back to Windsor, I drove and sang vey loudly to Queen hits to keep myself awake.
• Home.
• Moved into the new flat. My mum bought me a futon, my flatmate Lydie also has a futon, so our lounge will be futonsville. So there'll always be space for visitors, hint hint
• School - spent all day there today, making my classroom beautiful and welcoming. Had lots of people popping in to say their Oooooohs, because the room was a hellhole last year, and now it's lovely. Got to fiddle with my brand spanking new interactive whiteboard too... I'll put some photos of my room on my MSN at some stage
• Last day at Legoland tomorrow - need to remember the spare pair of clothes, as last year I didn't and got completely soaked, as is 'tradition'.
• Final move good and proper into flat on Sunday.
• Inservice day Monday
• School starts Tuesday EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Date:	2006-08-18 16:45
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	sleepy

Hello again. This is good going for me...

I got my both official certificate of QTS (Qualified Teacher Status) and my PGCE certificate from Reading University through the post this week, so all that means I am a proper official teacher and do have to start teaching in less than 3 weeks. Eek. I still don't know what classification I have for my PGCE, won't find out that till December graduation dammit. Though rumour has it, I got a merit for my practical teaching. I think it will be merit overall so I'm happy with that. Not that it matters though, as I have a job already and the grade means nothing to them! 

I left work really early today, as it's my only early shift this whole week and had lots of stuff to do. Thing is, I got home, watched Neighbours and then fell asleep for 2 hours, and now I can't remember what I needed to do. Hmm. I do need to start planning lessons for the start of term, but that's boring and I might leave it for a rainy day next week on holiday. My friend Lydie who I'll be sharing the flat with said she's planned all her lessons up to half term, but I'm just not as organised as that and it wouldn't work for me anyway.

Started to rain AGAIN. It's weird, one minute I look up and it's sunny, the next it's a heavy downpour. At least I'm not working during this. 

Signed the contracts and handed over A LOT of money for my flat. Met the landlady too... she's a bit of a dotty old dear, but seems ok. Also had to pay out lots of money that day for replacing my car's brakes and timing belt (whatever that is) I blame my dad for insisting on getting the car serviced before my drive to Ireland and that showing up all these problems dammit!

Hark, it's sunny again now.

Date:	2006-08-06 19:15
Subject:	let me please introduce myself...
Security:	Public
Mood:	happy

Hello! I thought it was about time for an update from my good self. It's been a while... and to think that at one stage in my life I was able to update this nearly every day. Sigh, if only my life were as jam-packed now!

So. I have been back team-leadering at the lovely Legoland. I do enjoy the job, and am trying to make the most of my seventh and final season there. I can't and musn't go back next year!! (Though I said that last year and look where I am!). I've had a treasure hunt at work, and a riverboat shuffle where the whole department got tarted up and managed not to get anyone thrown overboard this time. Nothing terribly exciting has happened so far, it's the same old complaints, ride breakdowns, spending a good hour this afternoon flicking elastic bands across the office in a war with Mark (the other Duplo team leader), playing skittles in the office with empty water cooler bottles and a bucket on wheels... oh and getting threatened by a member of my staff. He told me he was going to "sort me out" when I wouldn't let him leave early. The turd. And he is still working in my area, though I'm working on that one. So that's Legoland.

A couple of weeks ago me and my sister spent the week staying at my nan's. We were doing some English teaching to a group of German girls over for a gymnastics camp, where they also had to do some English lessons already. Most could speak perfect English anyway, and bearing in mind neither me or Lyndsey have done any TEFL before, we did pretty well. The girls ranged in age from 8 to 24 so it was rather difficult to be able to cater for everyone. But we muddled along, and kept my nan on the straight and narrow - no more than 2 glasses of wine a night and a square meal each evening. 

Last Saturday I had to do my duty and go to my nan and grandad's mates' 50th wedding anniversary party. That was FUN. I escaped to the car at one point. I was the youngest there and knew: my mum, my auntie, my nan. I kinda knew Paddy and Palmera the couple for whom the party was thrown, but have only met them twice in memory. Some bits were ok. Paddy grew up with my grandad so I found out lots of stories about him when he was a boy. For example, my grandad, Paddy and their assorted brothers and sisters would have competitions to see who could stay on the back of the wild (ish) shetland ponies in the field at the bottom of their lane. My grandad used to win. It's so cool to think that they stayed friends for over 70 years. I also discovered where my great nan and grandad are buried as Paddy still lives in the same village where he grew up and he told my auntie where to find them, so even though it's a bit weird and morbid, we went to find the graves. It was interesting though. 

This is turning into a mega-essay now so bear with me... 

I've found myself somewhere to live for September as the journey from WIndsor to my school in Shepperton is killer. I'll be living in East Molesley which is really close to Hampton Court palace. It's a flat on the side of a big old house and is really... different. Lots of little staircases and big rooms and stuff. I'm living with my friend Lydie who'll be teaching in Kingston not far away. The flat's hard to describe, but really nice! I move in after the bank holiday so have been buying loads of stuff for it. Going to Ikea tomorrow so my bank balance will suffer - but I really do need that desk, armchair and wardrobe!!

I think that's about all my past news. Future news is : going to Ireland for a week with my sister. We're going to attempt to drive over and survive the 10 hour ferry crossing. Also only 2 weeks today till we go to see the Rolling Stones woooooo. It took several months but I finally persuaded Lyndsey to let me go to see them with her instead of her boyfriend. Hurrah! Watched a random old concert of their's on some random digital channel last night, got very excited! Can't wait.

That's all for now, otherwise I'll start to ramble, not that I haven't started already! Toodlepip! xx

Date:	2006-06-27 19:33
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative

Well all my dude-friends, it's nearly done. After many months of hard work, essay writing, lesson planning, resource making and constant thoughts of 'can I really finish this?!', I am now one day off finishing. This time tomorrow, no more university EVER. And I cannot wait. 

To say it's been a hard year would be an understatement. It's been a flippin' emotional rollercoaster. February and March were the particularly worst months. But I made it, whoop! After several months of having to be civil to a certain member of staff in my department, I was finally able to say a big farewell to that beeatch. God I hated her with such a passion, it was unbearable being in the same room as her. I can't remember disliking anyone quite so much. But that's all in the past and I never have to see the bint again, hurrah. I get to work at a lovely shiney new school (not as in brand new but new to me) in September. It's in Shepperton and near t'river. I get a lovely big and freshly decorated classroom and... interactive whiteboard oh yes. 

The clever-clogs that I am got a distinction for my mega big masters level essay on "Teaching through the target language and developing the use of the target language in the classroom by pupils" Thrilling stuff. And what is more, I wrote it the day before it was due! Old habits die hard, and finally I got results from leaving essay writing till the last minute. 

I went to visit my ole chum Stig (Laura) in London on t'weekend. She lives on the fair isle of the dogs. The isle of the gardens to be precise. She has a view of Canary Wharf and half the Cutty Sark from her balcony. We didn't go to the London Dungeons this time though, still haven't got over the fear from last time.

Future plans = Starting work at Legoland on Sunday, think I'm looking forward to it... Meeting my tutor group next Thursday. They have a bit of a weirdo system in that each tutor group has a few kids from each year group 7-11 in it. Will be interesting. Am in Brunel house so am planning to have a big framed picture of SLough station on proud display in my classroom to honour the man. Incidentally I did a huge project on Isambard Kingdom Brunel when I was about 7, inspired by a visit to Slough museum and encouraged by my mum. Twasn't a school project oh no, a project done in my own time, the saddo I was (didn't have much of a social life back then...)

Who's got a job...? I HAVE!!! At last after five nasty ole interviews I got my job woo yeh! I get my own classroom, tutor group, interactive whiteboard and everything innit!
Hurrah!

Date:	2006-05-30 15:49
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	creative

Salut chums. Back from a weekend in deepest darkest Somerset for a family reunion. Twas the eightiest day of birth of one's grandest father and all were gathered in great celebration. Twere aunts (1) and uncles (1) and aunts of the fostered kind (1) and cousins of the fostered kind (2) and aunts of the greatest kind (1) and uncles of the greatest kind (1) and parents of the greatest kind (2) and parents of the parental kind (2) and brothers and sisters of the sibling kind (2). And much merriment and festivities were rife and enjoyed by all. 

So there was the aunt who I've never met before and who quite scared me for two reasons. One, she is younger than my dad but looks at least 20 years older as her skin is so craggy. Two, she is mental - she was a hippy-type and I think she smoked a tad too much 'special' tobacco in her hippy days and it's had a lasting effect. Either that or she just has a screw loose from spending her life living in a caravan with her sheep for company. Then there's my uncle who I rarely see as he's a bit of a mad-professor type who spends his time converting old (huge) army vehicles into caravans. Indeed. The rest are pretty damn cool, and the uncle and aunt  (my dad's brother and sister) are just exceptions who only stayed for a couple of hours on Saturday anyway. My grandparents live in a big old house which has a resident ghost, who used to scare me senseless but now at 23 years old I think I should get used to, so I try, but it's still quite scary at night thinking each creaky sound is the ghost coming to eat me. My great aunt and uncle from deepest darkest Wales were there and they are cool and normal, and kept telling me about their failed attempted to learn the Welsh after having lived there for 253 years (18 actually). Then there's my foster auntie and cousins who are cool types. Foster auntie? I hear you cry, well yes. My grandparents fostered her back in the day so she's my dad's foster sister, and her kids are the nearest to cousins I have (sigh) as none of my other aunts (3) or uncles (1.5) have any children, they're just too weird for that malarkey, apart from the one aunt who has some near-enough-step-children from the half uncle, but that's a whole nother story.

The whole moral to this potted family history is that me, my brother and the cousins played Monopoly all weekend because it being deepest darkest Somerset, there isn't a whole lot else to do apart from dig out the ancient 'Mopoly' set and play for hours on end. The end.

Date:	2006-05-17 20:41
Subject:	super grade f teacher
Security:	Public
Mood:	sad

Had the day from hell today, my year eight class made me cry. Not in front of them though, thank God. They were so nuaghty and rude all lesson that one last thing made me snap and storm out the room and get another teacher to finish the lesson with them whilst I sobbed in the staffroom! All lesson they would not do their work, were rude, loud... one boy kept shouting Vicky acorss the room to get my attention and when I shouted at him and said how disrespecful he was, he laughed. The cheek! He's in BIG trouble now cos we phoned his mum! Ha! The final straw however was, when my back was turned some evil child spat on another kid's head. Yes, he spat on him. I still can't get over that - how disgusting, twisted, evil, disrespectful... why oh why would someone do that, they must have problems!!! Only trouble is I don't know who did it as my back was turned. But WHY?? I can't comprehend how that thought could cross someone's mind and them actually do that to another person. It's so so sad. Needless to say, the whole class are in deep trouble. I'm supposed to teach them again on Friday and am dreading it. Sigh.

It didn't help that I'm majorly stressed out at the fact that I still don't know if I got the job I went for interview for on Monday - teaching interviews normally give you their yes or no on the day, so waiting for nearly 3 days is killing me.

Date:	2006-05-08 19:36
Subject:	geezer would ya nibble the pie...
Security:	Public
Mood:	busy

So only two weeks left of my main school placement, and cannot wait to finish that all and give the evil year 9s back to their true owner. It's nearly all finished, can't believe it, its gone quickly and many a time I wanted to give it all up, but I'm rather pleased I didn't. Had a job interview last week, but never got it... was up against some teacher with 10 years experience, so not surprising I didn't get it really! Am frantically applying for more jobs now, so hopefully there'll be some good news soon! 

Went to London on Saturday to visit my old chum Stig. We went to the London Dungeons as last summer I got two free tickets and never got round to using them as me and Stig had to postpone this visit twice already. It was pretty good, though we both spent the boat ride huddled together with eyes closed cos it was too damn scary. No really. It was some scaaary shee-at. I don't like it when people pretend to be models then leap out at you in a pant-pooing kinda way. It all stems for a nasty ghost train experience at the Windsor fair when I was about 11 and some pikey scum grabbing me in the dark and scaring me somewhat shitless. Anyhooo the bestest thing about the visit was that we got to jump the queue as I flashed our tickets at the pre-booked entrance and mentioning that Gay Colin my old manager is now their new manager... AND they never took the tickets from me, the fools, so now I get to use them at a Sea Life centre (rather than go back there again). Tra la la. It was good, but not somewhere you'd ruch back to as it wouldn't change much by the tickets' expiry in August. A whole load of failed actors working there indeedyo.  

That's it for now methinks. Nothing else exciting happens at mo, thus I get terribly excited about failed actor fools not taking my tickets off me... Telle est la vie!

Date:	2006-04-26 19:25
Subject:	where's my face gone? smile for the camera!
Security:	Public
Mood:	chipper

So I had my final lesson observation from my university tutor which was ok considering the naughtiness of the class generally. Had the big tri-partite meeting with her and my school mentor and I have officially completed all the millions of standards that are required to get Qualified Teacher Status. Phew. So now only 3 and a bit weeks left of this main placement, then 2 weeks of uni slash holiday slash frantic scribbling of final assignment, then 3 weeks of final placement doing a "fun" project and teaching nice classes. 

The silly thing, now I've pretty much got my QTS, is that I don't know if I want to be a teacher! Hmm. Though a job has come up at the school I was at for my first placement, and the head of department there has requested me to apply... we'll see.

Oh and great news today, I found out that Horrible Matthew I Used To Drive To School (the stupid pleb boy) dropped out of the course because his assignments were shite. Hahahahahahahaha that SO made my day, the idiot.